Oscar Speech Mad-Libs from Radar Mag

Oscar Speech Mad-Libs from Radar Mag

Here’s mine:

Wow. Oh boy. I wasn’t going to prepare a speech, but my Stepmonster told me I’d jinx myself if I didn’t. So, thanks, Mitzie! [Pause. Inhale deeply. Nod to Jack Nicholson.] I’d like to thank the Academy. I’d like to thank the radiant, heavenly-scented, graying actors I was nominated with. Just to be included in a group with you all is an honor. I’d like to thank my manager, Yael, my agent, Bryan, my stylist, and all the immensely talented people at Picturehouse, Harvey Weinstein, Ralph, and Dr. C. Everett Koop.

I’d also like to thank my parents, who supported me through my awkward years. And Oprah, my one … true … love [gaze into audience]. Last, but certainly not least, we all just lost Mel Brooks, a truly decrepid visionary and penultimate soul. [Begin tearing.] I’d like us to take a moment to … No! Oh, snap!!! Don’t start playing that music, I have 67 more people to go! My editor Graydon Carter, my accountant Buzz, my lawyer Clarence Darrow, my personal assistant Cee Cee Cobb, and Josh at Unicorn Pictures. Brad Grey. When we started this project, The War on Terrorism was something no one wanted to talk about. Victims of Global Warming, this is for you! Thank …

[Music swells.]

[via the always clever paulscheer]

Source paulscheer