editorlisa

The event coverage lured me in. I love events that have their own photographer (like Julia Allison’s Bi-coastal Birthday Bash, which actually had three). Besides, I heard my friends would be covered there. In fact, the only hesitation I had regarding reading Guest of a Guest was that I’d never, ever heard of Guest of a Guest. It has a lot to do with being unreasonably resistant to derivative NYC gossip sites (I had stopped reading Gawker ages ago). Also, I have this awesome thing called Facebook & Twitter & Blogs that allow me to know what my friends are up to without anyone else interpreting for me.

Still local event coverage = anecdotes about and photos of friends like John Carney! Or other smart and talented pals and their insane dance moves. Sometimes there are also cupcakes. I love nothing more than friends, insane dance moves and cupcakes. So I decided that I would pretend to be interested in Guest of a Guest, a task which closely resembles acting, or, as some call it, lying. Here’s a primer on how to feign interest in Guest of a Guest if you’re not actually interested for real:

Pretend it’s written by someone’s friend. Not necessarily your friend, or mine for that matter, but someone’s. Maybe one of the technology-challenged friend who hangs around Grand Central waiting for free peanut handouts? If that doesn’t work, try to think of the scene from the Disney classic where the Little Mermaid wants to be part of that world but isn’t.  Rename the mermaid “Guest of a Guest.” Whine. Whine a little bit.

Try to overlook the most obvious angle ever in an event coverage article. Sometimes I try to get clever with the angles, like thinking this one could be “Celebrating friends’ successes.” Or “Is being first-to-market really an advantage?” Or “Only the good die young.” No. The angle was “Snarky.” The angle is always “snarky” or “We never really graduate high school” or something stupid like that.

Don’t go overboard. Yes, Julia and Randi are adorable in their matching birthday frocks, and it might occur to you to try to buy one at the last minute as well, but no. Dressing in matching attire will make people start throwing around jargon about “oversharing” and some “T.M.I.” report, on some tumblr, which, if you don’t read Guest of a Guest is probably the thing you read instead.

Pose Looking Serious for the Guest of a Guest Photographer. Not because you are a serious poseur, but because this is a situation that makes you feel like one.

Repeat after me, “Guest of a Guest changed my life.” It’s best to practice this one while staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Stop. Don’t laugh. In a way it’s true, right? Because you now have a soul-sucking photo of yourself that will be posted on some Internet site, and a cupcake. (Though, actually, since neither Julia Allison nor Rachel Kramer Bussel was there, there were no cupcakes at all.)

As you StumbleUpon some other website, you can congratulate yourself on having fooled them all! Or at least yourself, and the people you did not immediately confess having no knowledge of Guest of a Guest. And now that they’re on to the next gossipy post, you’ll never need to worry about it again. Hurrah! And then, at that moment, someone is going to send you a message telling you she just tagged 10 pictures of you in the Events section.